Juggling Two Generations: Mental Health Challenges of the Sandwich Generation 

What You Can Do About Them

Caregiving is a labor of love, but for those in the sandwich generation, it can feel like you are walking the tightrope while trying to juggle.

Did you know that members of the sandwich generation spend an average of 50 hours a week caregiving—22 hours for aging parents and 28 hours for their children? (USAToday) When you layer this level of commitment on top of careers, personal responsibilities, and the daily demands of life, it is easy to see why caregivers need all of the support they can get!

This relentless schedule has significant consequences, such as mental health struggles, anxiety, and burnout Financially, the burden is just as heavy, with many delaying retirement due to caregiving responsibilities, which can significantly impact savings and retirement plans (MarketWatch).

These stats tell a sobering story—but they’re only part of the picture. Beyond the numbers are real people. That’s you, quietly juggling immense responsibilities and often sacrificing your own well-being to care for loved ones.

Why Mental Health Matters

Caring for others begins with caring for yourself. I know we have all heard this a million times, but many of us are still putting ourselves at the bottom of the list. When you prioritize your mental health, you’re better equipped to manage the daily challenges of caregiving, make thoughtful decisions, and nurture meaningful relationships. But what does prioritizing yourself actually look like?

• Giving yourself permission to say no: Recognize that you can’t do everything, and setting boundaries is vital for your well-being. What is a priority?
• Scheduling “me time” on your calendar: Block off time for activities that recharge you, whether it’s a walk, a hobby, or simply resting.
• Delegating tasks to others: Enlist family members, friends, or paid services to share caregiving responsibilities when possible.
• Connecting with support networks: Join caregiver support groups or seek out community resources for advice and encouragement.
• Setting realistic expectations: Acknowledge that you’re doing your best and that perfection isn’t necessary or possible.

Prioritizing your mental health enables you to show up more fully, for yourself and for your loved ones. Taking time to preserve your energy and resilience isn’t selfish—it’s one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and your family. So, what does burnout look like? You might be thinking, “That’s exactly how I am feeling right now!”

What Does Burnout Look Like?

Burnout doesn’t happen all at once. It’s a gradual process that builds over time, often without us realizing it until it’s overwhelming. Here are some common signs of burnout you may recognize:

• Emotional exhaustion: Feeling drained, irritable, or unable to find joy in activities you once enjoyed.
• Physical symptoms: Constant fatigue, headaches, or other stress-related ailments. These can also include signs of anxiety, muscle tension, and symptoms of depression like persistent sadness, loss of appetite, or trouble sleeping.
• Decreased productivity: Struggling to focus, procrastinating, or feeling ineffective in your caregiving or work roles.
• Detachment: Feeling disconnected from your loved ones or withdrawing from social interactions.
• Negative self-talk: A constant sense of guilt, self-doubt, or feeling like you’re not doing enough.

For most of us in the caregiver role, we have felt burnout at one time or another. Watching my mom try to do all the things when she was caring for her mom while I was still a teen, I realize she lived in a state of perpetual burnout without even realizing it. She never felt like she did enough – even though she did it ALL!

It’s important for you to acknowledge how you are feeling and to give yourself permission to address burnout. Remember, it’s not a reflection of your capabilities as a caregiver—it’s a signal that your mind and body need care too. How can you begin to recover from burnout and create a sustainable caregiving routine?

Steps to Recover from Burnout

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings
   • Accept that you’re feeling overwhelmed, and recognize that it’s okay to feel this way, no judgment. Talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can help you process your emotions.
   • Journaling each night for 5 minutes gives you a chance to check in with yourself. 
2. Prioritize Rest and Self-Care
   • Make sleep a priority. Create a bedtime routine that promotes better sleep.
   • What activity can you repeat each night to trigger your readiness to sleep: a cup of chamomile tea, reading for 15 minutes, or a hot bath?
3. Learn to Delegate
   • Share caregiving responsibilities with family members or consider hiring professional help if possible. You don’t have to do everything alone.
   • Use a shared calendar to assign tasks to family members, research sites like Care.com, and accept help when it is offered.
4. Seek Professional Help When Needed
   • If feelings of anxiety, depression, or exhaustion persist, reach out to a mental health professional for guidance and support.
   • Use online platforms like BetterHelporg.com to get access to professionals.
5. Use Technology to Your Advantage
   • Leverage tools like medication reminders, scheduling apps, or grocery delivery services to lighten your load.
   • We love to put bulk items on auto-delivery, use AI to create meal-plans and grocery lists. We use the paid version of ChatGPT, but there is a free version as well. No more meal planning, I ask for a menu 2 weeks at a time and the grocery list. 
6. Celebrate Small Wins
   • Acknowledge your efforts, no matter how small. Every step you take to care for yourself is a win.
   • Get that sticky-note pad and write yourself reminders of what you are celebrating; stick them someplace where you will see them. This might feel silly but everyone needs a little silly. Just putting a heart on the note can go a long way or writing something you are looking forward to. 

Recovering from burnout isn’t a quick fix—it’s a gradual process. By taking intentional steps to care for yourself, you’re rebuilding a stronger foundation to continue caring for your loved ones.

Bringing It All Together

As part of the sandwich generation, you’re navigating complex responsibilities that require resilience, compassion, and support. By recognizing the signs of burnout and taking proactive steps to care for yourself, you can create a sustainable caregiving routine that benefits everyone in your life. Giving yourself A LOT of grace is a great place to start.

Remember, small changes can lead to big improvements. Whether it’s setting boundaries, embracing technology, or celebrating your daily wins, every action you take matters. You’re not alone on this journey—reach out, SHARE YOUR STORY, and connect with others who understand. Together, we can make caregiving more manageable, fulfilling, and even enjoyable, when we include ourselves as a priority in the act of caregiving.

What is one thing you are going to do for yourself today?