Caregiver Overload Is Real: What to Track (and What to Let Go) When You’re Caring for Everyone

You know that feeling when you’ve spent 20 minutes searching for your mom’s medication list while simultaneously helping your teenager with homework and trying to remember if you scheduled that follow-up appointment? Your dining room table is covered with sticky notes, and somehow, despite all your efforts, you still worry you’re missing something important.

Most caregivers will go in one of two directions from here, over-tracking or under-tracking medical info because the amount of information adds up quickly. 

If this sounds familiar, you’re in good company with the rest of us in the sandwich generation.   Here’s the reframe that has helped me and so many others- you don’t need to track everything. Track the information that helps you make decisions with more clarity and confidence.

The Hidden Weight of Care Coordination

For the sandwich generation, tracking isn’t just about being organized—it’s about staying connected to how your loved ones are doing mentally, physically, and emotionally. According to a recent AARP study, family caregivers spend an average of 24 hours per week on caregiving tasks, with care coordination consuming a significant portion of that time.

The Tracking Tightrope

The challenge isn’t just finding time—it’s finding the right approach. Many caregivers find themselves:

• Over-tracking out of fear, documenting every detail because you don’t want to miss that one subtle sign that something’s wrong. That fear? It’s completely valid. But the resulting information overload can be overwhelming.
• Under-tracking out of exhaustion, potentially missing important patterns because you simply can’t keep up with everything. And let’s be clear here, no one can.

There’s a middle path that can help you reclaim precious hours while still providing excellent care. Here’s how to make tracking work for you—not against you.

1. Focus on Changes, Not Constants

Instead of tracking every normal blood pressure, heart rate, bathroom trip, and meal, track patterns or changes from their baseline, especially when there is no active concern (unless instructed otherwise by your provider or you have a specific care plan in place).

Why it works: If there’s no recent medication change or concerning symptom, daily vitals may not be necessary. Exceptions—not daily normal readings—are where meaningful patterns emerge.

 When you’re rushing from your kid’s soccer practice to your parent’s doctor appointment, you don’t have time for elaborate spreadsheets. Focus on the meaningful changes—not the constant stream of normal data. 

My mom checks her blood pressure every other day, however, we only document her blood pressure once per week (if there are no changes).  We track her weight once per month, and I note her functional status (ability to do activities) once every three months. 

2. Delegate and Distribute the Mental Load

Instead of being the sole keeper of every detail, start growing your care circle:

• Clarify who’s responsible for what (even minor tasks)
• Share medical notes with siblings or trusted helpers
• Involve older children in age-appropriate support roles
• Allow your loved ones to participate in their own care as much as possible.

Why it works: Tracking doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. Caregiving is a team sport, even if it starts out feeling like a solo act. Your support circle doesn’t need to be big to be impactful. Sharing the mental load protects your own capacity to continue caring.

Start Small:  Create a central place where you store all the information you are tracking.  You can use an app, Google sheets, or even one notebook. If it’s easy to use and share, anyone from your care circle can access your loved one’s baseline and help collect important information. 

3. Consolidate Communication to Reduce Decision Fatigue

Instead of managing separate calls, texts, and logins for every doctor,
Try organizing:

• Messages through individual patient portals (when available)
• All upcoming appointments in one shared calendar
• Weekly “batch” time to review updates and send questions

Why it works: While there isn’t one portal that connects all providers, most health systems have their own patient portals. Even if multiple portals are needed, designating specific times to log in, message providers, and schedule appointments can dramatically reduce decision fatigue.

Ask your providers if they regularly collaborate with others in the same network or can recommend specialists they’re already connected with. Centralizing your updates and provider communications creates breathing room in your packed schedule. Let technology work with you, not against you.

Improve provider communication by tracking which top 2-3 questions you want to address during appointments so that you get real answers to your concerns.  This helps appointments feel calmer and you create space to hear what is being said. 

4. Create a Simple Tracking System for Medications and Relevant History.

Instead of a long list of every medication your loved one has ever taken, only track current medications.  This prevents confusion around medications, especially when you have other people helping. 

I have seen mediations lists that at first glance, looked like the patient was taking over twenty meds, when they were taking five. Update allergies and note the reaction. 

Please don’t weigh yourself down with tracking every lab, test result, or small procedure. Keeping the most recent results on hand is more than enough, unless otherwise instructed by your provider. If there was a very unusual result that resulted in a change in treatment or some intervention, it’s best to keep this list clear and concise:

• Current medications (name, dose, frequency, reason for taking)
• Allergies and bad reactions (anaphylaxis, lip swelling, wheezing after a medication)
• Major diagnoses
• Surgeries that are still relevant (head, neck, lungs, heart, joint replacements, organ transplants, implanted devices to name a few big ones)
• On-going follow-up or specialty care

Sandwich Gen Reality Check: You don’t need perfect records—you need enough information to spot important trends, ask relevant questions, and share the caregiving load with trusted people in your circle.

5. Track Your Own Wellbeing—It’s Non-Negotiable

Instead of treating your personal care as separate from the care you give your loved ones, try tracking:

• Your energy and emotional state weekly
• When you last did something just for you
• Daily blocks of time for yourself that you protect like any other appointment

You’re the foundation of your caregiving structure—and foundations need maintenance. Tracking your own wellbeing isn’t self-indulgent; it’s essential preventative care.

You cannot hold everyone else together while quietly falling apart. Self-care isn’t luxury—it’s a necessity for sustainable caregiving.  This can be as simple as setting an alarm for 15 minutes to reset or recharge.  What matters is that you include yourself in the caregiving cycle: your yearly wellness visits, activity, medications, and past medical history so that you are equipped to advocate not only for your loved ones, but also for yourself. 

Bonus Tip: If You Live Far Away, Use Video Check-ins

Even from a distance, you can track visually. Use regular video calls to:

• Observe changes in appearance or speech
• See if your loved one is using their mobility aids
• Catch emotional or cognitive shifts early

This kind of visual connection helps you spot trends before they become emergencies—and reminds your loved one they’re not facing challenges alone.

Finding Your Caregiving Rhythm

The most important thing to track isn’t medications or numbers—it’s your capacity to continue caring without losing yourself in the process.

Sustainable caregiving isn’t about perfect balance. It’s about finding a rhythm that allows for caring for others and caring for yourself. By refining what you track and how you track it, you create space not only for caregiving —but for living while caregiving.

Because you’re more than the family’s care coordinator, you’re a whole person.

Start by choosing just one area to simplify this week. One small change can create significant breathing room—and in that space, you might just rediscover the strength and confidence that’s been there all along. 

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💬 Have you found ways to simplify caregiving? Share your time-saving tips in the comments—your experience might be exactly what another sandwich generation caregiver needs today.