Pause Before the Push: Why You Don’t Need to Do All the Things This Summer

After the hustle and bustle of the school year, it’s tempting to dive into summer.

As caregivers, summer can feel like the perfect time to “finally catch up”—on house projects, on bonding time, on making memories. But the summer can quickly turn into a three-month to-do list. And let’s be honest: trying to make the most of every moment can be… exhausting.

Reality check: you’re already doing plenty.

If your kids are in camp and you’re working (whether at home or outside of it), you’re already giving your energy, time, and attention all day. That is summer in full swing.

And yet, there’s still this quiet pressure to fill every blank space on the calendar. More plans. More productivity. More to squeeze in. But what if the most powerful thing you could do this summer…
is pause before the push?

Here’s what we’re doing before our calendar fills up with activity after activity.

 Start With What Actually Matters to Your Family

Every summer, we sit down with our kids and ask them three simple questions:

1. What’s something new you want to do or try? We are picking back up on drums and guitar.
2. If we only do one special thing this summer, what would it be? No we are not going Antarctica, our summer trip is already planned, try again.
3. What do you want to continue throughout the summer? We are continuing basketball and community service.

This keeps us grounded in what they care about—rather than what we think they want to do. And no, nobody said “organize the garage”… but that’s on my list 😄.

This summer, we already have our big adventure planned: a family trip to Alaska and Denali. We’re not trying to stack more on top of that. Instead, we’re doing some camps, a few family projects, daily responsibilities, and focusing on moments that are simple.

 For the Working Caregiver: Keep It Doable

If you’re working this summer, you’re juggling drop-offs, packed lunches, meetings, elder care, and camp schedules. It’s a lot—and it’s okay to say it out loud.

We’ve learned to lean on our village. We try to coordinate summer camps with at least one friend—not just for fun, but for logistics. Sharing carpool duties and drop-offs with other families saves time and your sanity.

And here’s something we’ve learned the hard way—after tears, meltdowns, and grumpy moments: even the most outgoing kids often just want to be home after a full day of structured activity. When mine get home from camp, they’re usually wiped. They don’t want a jam-packed weekend—they want space to breathe.

You don’t need to fill every moment to have a full summer.
Sometimes, slowing down is what makes the summer memorable.

Here’s what works for us:

• A relaxed hangout with a friend (like bowling or dinner where the kids can play)
• A cozy movie night with take-out (no cooking, thank you)
• A fun family project—we’re currently building the Formula 1 LEGO sets
• Yes, even some video games—just not all day, every day

There’s no wrong way here. It’s a family effort. And communication is the glue.

 Ground Rules That Make Room for Freedom

To keep things flowing (and reduce nagging), we’re also resetting expectations around:

• What needs to get done before screens
• Continuing household help like dishes, laundry, and maintaining shared spaces
• Helping at Grandma’s house
• Educational time (just 30 minutes of reading or math each weekday)
• Flexibility with bedtime, especially for our teen (within reason…that’s the hard part)

We still have friction around the “not-fun” tasks—but it works better when everyone has a say.

Research from Adventure Tracks backs this up: giving kids responsibilities like household chores and enrolling them in screen-free summer camps helps build confidence, cooperation, and resilience.

 Let Kids Be Part of the Caregiving Rhythm

If you’re caring for aging parents, your kids can be part of that rhythm too.

Caregiving isn’t something to hide from them—it’s something we can share. Our teen mows Grandma’s lawn and pulls weeds once a week. Our younger one helps with windows and wiping down baseboards.

Are they thrilled about it? Not exactly. But it builds compassion, responsibility, and connection. It shows them that caregiving is something we do together.

 Stay on the Same Page: Hold a Weekly Family Meeting

To keep the lines of communication open, we hold one weekly family check-in. It’s not a formal meeting—it’s just a moment to ask: What’s working? What’s feeling off? What do you need more of?

This simple rhythm is backed by research from Shurley English, which shows that weekly family meetings help kids build communication skills and emotional awareness. That little check-in time helps everyone feel heard—and helps us all adjust as the summer unfolds.

 Final Thought: Reclaim the Summer You Actually Want

Summer doesn’t have to be a race to “make the most of it.”
Sometimes, slowing down is making the most of it.

Ask yourself:

-What are yo top 2-3 priorities this summer?

Here’s ours:

• More shared activities that help our 9- and 15-year-old connect—bridging that age gap a little at a time
• Working on family communication
• Encouraging my mom to participate in more family moments (that’s another post entirely!)

-What does you family REALLY need?

We need to slow down and reconnect after a truly stressful freshman year without oldest son. It was a big shift—and it showed us exactly where we need to adjust.

-What can you let go of that’s draining you?

For us? Clutter.
We’re tackling it one drawer, one corner, one pile at a time.

Let’s all agree that the Instagram-ready summer is not the bar. Instead, give yourself permission to pause before the push.

Because downtime isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
And the busier you are, the more you need it.

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If You Want to Read More

• How Family Meetings Can Build Communication Skills This Summer
  Holding weekly family check-ins isn’t just a feel-good habit—it’s a proven way to help kids express themselves and strengthen emotional awareness. This article from Shurley English highlights the value of summer conversations that connect.
  🔗 https://blog.shurley.com/blog/2024/7/summer-learning-how-to-develop-your-childs-communication-skills

• Why Kids Need Chores and Camp This Summer
  Adventure Tracks dives into the importance of keeping kids involved in age-appropriate chores and structured, screen-free summer activities. It’s a great reminder that independence, confidence, and cooperation all grow from responsibility.
  🔗 https://adventuretracks.org/blog/why-kids-need-chores-and-camp-this-summer