5 Sandwich Generation Caregiving Myths That Are Secretly Sabotaging Your Well-Being

You’re managing your teenager’s college prep while coordinating your dad’s medical appointments, all before your morning coffee. If you’re feeling squeezed between generations and pulled in every direction, you’re likely carrying more than just caregiving tasks—you’re carrying outdated beliefs that might be working against you.

If you’re juggling it all—raising kids while caring for aging parents—you’re part of the 2.5 million Americans navigating sandwich generation caregiving. But here’s what research reveals: you’re not just managing logistics—you’re battling deeply ingrained myths about what caregiving “should” look like, all while feeling like you’re stretched thin.

Today, we’re talking about something that could truly change how you care for your family—and how you care for yourself.. Because some of those well-meaning beliefs? They might be quietly pushing you toward caregiver burnoutinstead of sustainable support.

Let’s take a breath and bust five of the most damaging sandwich generation myths that still shape how we approach caregiving. These are the ideas that feel noble, but secretly sabotage our well-being.

💭 Myth #1: “Family Should Do It All”

This is the myth that so many of us grew up with, myself included.

We were taught: when someone in your family needs help,  it’s your responsibility, your job, your duty. It’s understandable, caregiving comes from the heart and when our loved ones need us, we step in.

But let’s talk about what that actually looks like when you’re wearing multiple hats—raising kids, managing a household, working (inside or outside of your home), and feeling pulled in a million directions. You’re constantly pressed for time.

The reality hits hard: sandwich generation caregivers are:

• Twice as likely to report financial difficulty (36% vs. 17%)
• More likely to report substantial emotional difficulty (44% vs. 32%) than their peers who only act as caregiver to a parent over 65.
• Research shows that 31% of sandwich generation caregivers always feel rushed even to do the things they have to do.

That’s the unique pressure of being squeezed between two generations—you’re stretched thin, and yet society keeps whispering that “you should be able to handle it.”

Here’s something we need to acknowledge:  trying to do it all doesn’t make you stronger. It makes you more vulnerable to burnout.

It doesn’t always mean hiring outside support. Sometimes, it’s as simple as creating a shared Google Calendar with your family, using a digital medical organizer so everything isn’t living in your head, or scheduling grocery delivery because you don’t have the time to go shopping.

You don’t have to manage it all.  Getting help isn’t stepping away. It’s stepping into a more sustainable version of care.

🔒 Myth #2: “Getting Help Means Losing Independence”

This one often comes from the parents we’re trying to care for.

Maybe your mom insists she’s “fine on her own.” Maybe your dad brushes off every suggestion of help with “I’ve got it.”

What they’re really saying? They’re afraid. Afraid that letting someone in means giving up control. Afraid that help equals helplessness.

But not getting help is often what causes independence to slip away.  If your parent is skipping meals, forgetting meds, or getting unsteady in the shower… they’re already losing pieces of their autonomy.

Support doesn’t mean taking over. It means filling the gaps—so they can keep living safely on their own terms.

Today’s tech tools can make that easier and less invasive than ever. A fall-detection smartwatch or monitor, a smart pill dispenser or paper medication tracker,  even Alexa reminders can quietly increase safety and independence without hovering or nagging. Alarm setting is our secret weapon for support that doesn’t feel overbearing.

When you’re also focused on parenting, knowing your loved one has those safeguards in place can offer peace of mind. Support creates stability. And stability is the foundation of true independence.

💰 Myth #3: “Home Care Is Too Expensive”

Let’s acknowledge this—because this myth stops a lot of families before they even explore options. The second you hear “professional care,” it’s easy to assume thousands of dollars per month. And yes, full-time private care is costly.

But here’s what many sandwich generation families don’t realize: home care is flexible.

You can start small. One afternoon a week. Help with groceries or meal prep.  A few hours of companionship. Even transportation to doctor’s appointments can be really helpful.

The numbers tell the story: 

• 67% of working caregivers report having at least some difficulty balancing work and life responsibilities.
• 27% ultimately having to shift from full-time to part-time work or reduce their hours.

Don’t forget about tech-based support. Many of the best caregiver tools are free or already in your pocket.

Apps like:

• Google Keep for medication lists & reminders
• Shared Google Docs for appointment notes and keeping track of changes in the care plan.
• Calendar alerts for coordination with siblings
• Shared family Passkey for approved access to passwords…Remember to store that trusty garage code someplace secure and easy to access.

These tools reduce your mental load and help your family stay on the same page without spending a dime.

Care doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Every layer of support adds breathing room.

🩺 Myth #4: “Only Sick People Need Help”

One of the most damaging myths? That support is only for people who are seriously ill. This  belief keeps families stuck in reactive mode—waiting for something to go wrong before stepping in.

But caregiving isn’t just about illness. It’s about creating stability, preserving dignity, and preventing bigger issues before they happen.

Proactive care might look like:

• A meal delivery service for a few days out of the week, easing the load of cooking while maintaining quality nutrition.
• A neighbor dropping by weekly to prevent loneliness or a planned zoom call/ facetime check-in to speak face to face if you can’t be there.
• Check that walkways are free of clutter, main areas are well lit, especially the front and back door.
• Talking to your local pharmacy about medication delivery services.

These seemingly small supports can dramatically improve quality of life—and protect your peace of mind as a busy parent.

 

 Myth #5: “You Should Be Able to Handle It All”

This is the myth that quietly erodes your sense of self.

If you’re caring for aging parents, managing your kids’ school and activities, and trying to maintain your career. Let’s squeeze in your partner, your friends, and taking care of yourself… this isn’t sustainable.

Yet so many of us feel like we should be able to juggle it all, even when we’re feeling overwhelmed most days.

Here’s what the research says:

• 84% of working caregivers report that caregiving has a moderate or high impact on the stress they feel daily.
• Sandwich generation caregivers are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and burnout than those caring for only one generation.
• Many Sandwich generation caregivers feel isolated and alone in their struggles.
• Many report that caregiving has impacted their career progression or income.
• A large percentage say they feel “always on” and chronically exhausted.

And still… we don’t talk about it enough.

 Creating a support system for yourself is your lifeline.  Personally, I think the easiest way to start is with the busy tasks that take up a lot of time. This is why I love grocery delivery, automatic bill payments, pharmacy medication delivery, delivery of bulk items like paper towels and toilet paper.  Taking these repetitive tasks off of your plate helps you reclaim time in your day as well as a little extra headspace.    

And here’s the most important part: you’re kids are learning that it’s ok to ask for help. They are seeing that they don’t have to do it all. You are helping create a new narrative around caregiving.

 Let’s Rethink What “Support” Really Means

If you’ve been carrying these caregiving myths in your mind and heart, and you’re feeling like you can’t stay afloat:

You’re not alone. You’re actually part of 2.5 million people navigating life as a part of the  Sandwich generation.

• You’re not selfish for asking for help
• You’re not failing your family if you set up systems that make caregiving feel sustainable
• You’re not weak for needing rest, breaks, or professional support

Because sandwich generation caregiving isn’t about doing it all. It’s about creating enough support—human and digital—so you can show up with presence and compassion.

Remember: sustainable caregiving starts with releasing the myths that no longer serve you. You’re already doing something extraordinary by caring for multiple generations—now it’s time to care for yourself. You are the foundation.

If you’re looking for a place to start, download my free step-by-step guide for organizing medical info at home. It’s one small action that creates massive relief—especially when life gets chaotic.

👉  https://caregiverscoffee.myflodesk.com/opr49idrl3

Sources:

1. Lei, L., et al. (2023). “A National Profile of Sandwich Generation Caregivers Providing Care to Both Older Adults and Children.” Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, 71(3), 799-809.
2. AARP & S&P Global. (2024). “Working While Caregiving: It’s Complicated.” AARP Research Report on Working Caregivers.
3. AARP Public Policy Institute. (2023). “A Closer Look at Sandwich Generation Caregivers of Medicare Beneficiaries.” Washington, DC: AARP Public Policy Institute.