3 Myths About Emergencies That Keep Sandwich Generation Caregivers Stuck (and What to Do Instead)

I know that feeling intimately — the one where you’re always moving, always “on,” even when nothing truly urgent is happening. Your body stays in perpetual motion: kids’ activities, aging parents’ doctor visits, work deadlines, meal planning, household management. Even when you have support, it can still feel like the mental load never stops spinning.

As a part of the sandwich generation, caring for both children and aging parents, that constant state of urgency becomes your normal operating mode. Ironically, it’s exactly this feeling that keeps us from preparing for actual emergencies. When every day already feels like crisis management, who has the bandwidth to think about preparing for more?

But here’s what I’ve learned through my own caregiving journey and talking with thousands of families just like yours (and mine): the beliefs that stop us from preparing are the ones that make real emergencies infinitely harder when they arrive.

Today, I want to share the three biggest myths that keep us stuck when it comes to emergency prep — and show you how shifting these beliefs can reduce overwhelm and the weight of the mental load you are carrying.

Myth #1: “Emergency Readiness Means Living in Fear Mode”

“I don’t want to be one of those people who’s always expecting disaster.”

Does the phrase “emergency preparedness” give you a knot in your stomach? You’re not alone. Many caregivers avoid this topic because it feels like “asking” for trouble — like putting up storm shutters on a perfectly sunny day.

Let’s acknowledge this out loud: those of us caring for kids and aging parents already carry enough worry. You’re already thinking about whether Mom’s driving safely, if Dad’s remembering his medications, whether your teenager will make good choices at that party. The last thing you need is another reason to feel like a worrier.

But here’s the reframe that changed everything for me: emergency readiness isn’t about bracing for disaster. It’s about creating space for when life inevitably throws curveballs.

Think about your most recent emergency. Part of what catches us completely off-guard is wondering if we have the information and support we need at our fingertips to act on our loved ones’ behalf.

• Dad calls from the grocery store, confused and dizzy
• Mom’s doctor’s office leaves a voicemail about “following up on recent tests” but provides zero details
• You get a call that your parent fell at home while you’re three hours away at your child’s tournament

These moments create chaos not only because they are unexpected, but because we are often scrambling to piece together information we don’t at our fingertips. What’s Dad’s blood pressure medication again? Who was that specialist Mom saw last month? Do I have support available in case I can’t get there immediately?

When you’ve invested just 15 minutes gathering the essentials — your parent’s current medications, their doctors’ contact information, or key health history details — you’re not living in fear. You’re giving yourself the gift of breathing room when unexpected moments arrive.

Your action step: Write this info in a dedicated notebook: your parent’s full legal name and date of birth, Any allergies to foods/ medications along with reactions, their primary care doctor’s name and phone number along with specialists, and their current medications. An emergency contact in case you are not readily available.  That simple list could save you hours of stress later.

Myth #2: “I’m Already Drowning — This Is Just One More Thing”

“Between work, kids’ schedules, and Mom’s appointments, I literally cannot add another task to my plate.”

I hear you. I see you. The mental load you’re carrying as a sandwich generation caregiver is heavy. You’re the family’s appointment coordinator, medication manager, emotional support system, taxi service, meal planner, homework helper, and professional all rolled into one exhausted person.

The idea of creating emergency binders or checklists probably feels laughable when you can barely remember if you fed the dog this morning (right there with you).

But here’s what I discovered: preparedness isn’t adding to the overwhelm. It’s your shortcut through it.

Every time we avoid preparing, we guarantee we’ll scramble later. And scrambling always takes longer, drains more energy, and leaves us feeling guilty about what we should have done differently.

Let me paint you a picture from my own life: Mom prefers handling her medical appointments independently, which I respect. But when I ask follow-up questions like, “What did the cardiologist say about your blood pressure?” or “Did they schedule any additional tests?” — the response is usually a vague, “They’ll call me if something’s wrong.”

The first time I experienced this, I felt frustrated, helpless, and guilty for not being more involved (especially as a healthcare professional).  That’s when I decided to write down my mom’s specialists along with their contact information. I started creating her emergency checklist along with contacts in case we were not readily available. I bought her two fire blankets because I realized she no longer had the hand strength to use a fire extinguisher.  And, since my kids enjoy being at Grandmom’s house, I decided to walk them through what to do in case there is an emergency

Was this process perfect? Absolutely not. Did I have every detail filled out? Nope. It took time to get her information all in one place and it’s still a work-in-progress. But having most of the information ready means we don’t have to start from zero when questions arise.

The truth is: one small preparation step today prevents hours of stress tomorrow.

Your action step: Choose just one page to tackle this week. Maybe it’s listing emergency contacts. Maybe it’s writing down insurance information. Maybe it’s simply creating “important phone numbers” note in your phone. One page. That’s it. You’ll be amazed how much mental space that frees up.

Myth #3: “Emergencies Rarely Happen — I’ll Figure It Out When the Time Comes”

Most of the time, major emergencies are unlikely. Why stress about something that probably won’t happen?

This might be the most logical-sounding myth, and I completely understand the reasoning. Most days pass without life altering incidents. Most medical appointments are routine check-ups. Most family gatherings happen without anyone needing urgent care.

But here’s the thing: emergencies are rare, which is exactly why they’re so destabilizing when they do occur.

Think about the last unexpected event or even true emergency that hit your family. It feels like the solid ground beneath your feet has just disappeared. When unexpected situations arise, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. Your logical, organized, capable self takes a backseat to fight-or-flight responses.  Most of us feel disoriented, scattered, and overwhelmed — which is completely normal and human.

This is precisely why preparing ahead of time matters so much.

You don’t prepare because it’s likely to happen. You prepare because if it does happen, you can act when it matters most without relying on memory.

Those rare moments become the ones you remember most vividly. We assume that we will remember all the important details in the moment. But the reality is, most of us feel like we’re drawing a blank when we are on the receiving end of rapid-fire questions during stressful and unexpected situations, especially those involving our loved ones.  

Having your information organized doesn’t prevent emergencies from happening. But it gives you steady footing when the ground starts shaking. 

Your action step: Reframe preparation as an act of love, not anxiety or fear. Think of it as a gift to your future self — and to the people you care about most. One small step today could make all the difference in a moment that truly matters.

From Constant Rushing to Clarity (Most Days)

If you take just one thing from this post, let it be this: emergency readiness doesn’t require you to live in panic mode. It doesn’t have to be a massive, overwhelming project that takes up all your time.

It can be beautifully simple:

• Writing down your parent’s current medications in a red notebook and taking a picture
• Teaching your teenager when to call 911 and what to say
• Keeping all insurance cards in one designated spot everyone knows about
• Completing one section of an emergency organizer instead of trying to finish everything at once

Each small action reduces that constant sense of rushing that exhausts so many of us. Preparing ahead of time allows your nervous system to relax as you shift from the family filing cabinet to feeling more supported.

You’re not expecting the worst. You’re building a foundation that supports peace of mind.

Ready to Take Your First Step?

I know how overwhelming caregiving feels when you’re caught between generations, trying to support both your children and your aging parents. That’s why I created a free, simple Emergency Organizer designed specifically for busy sandwich generation families.

This isn’t a complicated system that requires hours to complete. It’s designed for real life — for people who have ten minutes here and there, not entire afternoons to dedicate to planning.

You don’t need to fill out everything at once. Start with whatever feels most important today.

Download your free Emergency Organizer here and give yourself the gift of feeling more prepared without the overwhelm: https://caregiverscoffee.myflodesk.com/echecklist

Additional Resources to Support Your Journey

As you begin building your emergency preparedness foundation, these current resources can provide additional support and guidance:

AARP Caregiving Resources Center (aarp.org/caregiving) — Offers comprehensive guides specifically for sandwich generation caregivers, including emergency planning templates, legal document checklists, and state-specific resources for aging parents.

Family Caregiver Alliance (caregiver.org) — Provides evidence-based fact sheets on emergency preparedness for families caring for adults with cognitive impairments, plus webinars on creating care plans that work for multi-generational families.

National Institute on Aging’s Go4Life Emergency Preparedness Guide (nia.nih.gov) — Features practical, printable checklists designed for older adults and their adult children, with special sections on medication management and mobility considerations during emergencies.

The Bottom Line

Emergencies don’t have to leave you feeling unprepared. With small, consistent steps taken with love and intention, they can become moments where you respond with steadiness and clarity— not because you expected them, but because you decided to prepare.

You’re already doing an incredible job managing complex family needs. This isn’t about adding pressure — it’s about giving yourself tools that make everything else a little bit easier.

Your future self (and your family) will thank you for starting today, even if you start small.

What’s one small step you’ll take this week? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.