Q: How Do I Balance Caring For My Aging Parents, My Kids, and My Work Without Losing Myself?

A: If you’ve ever Googled “sandwich generation burnout” at midnight while your mind races through tomorrow’s to-do list, you’re not alone.

Millions of us are caught in the middle — caring for aging parents while raising kids and juggling a career. And the question we keep asking is always some version of: How do I balance it all?

I get why we search for balance. It sounds achievable. It feels like something we should be able to figure out. And honestly? The word itself is comforting — like if we just try hard enough, everything will settle into place and that feels amazing.

But here’s what I’m learning: in this season of life, balance might not be what we actually need.

Striving For “Balance” Can Leave Us Exhausted

Balance sounds nice. It implies everything gets equal attention — your parents’ doctor appointments, your kids’ basketball games, your work deadlines, your own needs. All steady. All measured.

But caregiving life doesn’t work that way.

Some weeks, Mom needs you more because her health is struggling. Other weeks, your teenager is going through something and needs you fully present. Work keeps moving whether your family needs you or not. And you? You’re just trying to keep everyone (including yourself) okay.

When we aim for balance in a season that’s inherently unbalanced, we end up feeling like we’re doing something wrong. We’re not. The bar is just in the wrong place.

The Shift That Changes Everything

What if instead of asking “How do I balance caring for elderly parents and kids?” we started asking:

👉 “How can I create space for myself inside this season?”

This isn’t just semantics. This shift matters because space is achievable. Space for yourself is necessary. And this space is what sustains us. When you consider everything you’re juggling, where are you on that list? Like most of us, you are likely last on your list and feeling that internally throughout your day.

You don’t need everything to be even. You need moments where you can breathe.

What “Space” Actually Looks Like

For sandwich generation caregivers, creating space doesn’t mean overhauling your entire life. It’s not about adding more to your plate or finding hours of free time.

It’s about finding small pockets throughout your day where you can reset.

Your space might look like:

• Sitting in your car for 5 minutes before walking into the house
• Drinking your coffee while it’s still hot (my personal favorite)
• Taking the long route home for 10 minutes of silence
• Saying no to one thing this week without over-explaining (the one I struggle with the most)

These aren’t luxuries. They’re what keep you steady.  Personally, this is how I’m slowly but consistently making my needs a priority without feeling like I’m at odds with everyone else.  Time for me means less time for everyone and everything else…challenge that belief because it’s slowly draining you.

4 Ways to Create Space in Caregiving Life

1. The Daily Top 3
Each morning, pick three things: one for your parent, one for your kids, one for you. What are the top 3 things that need your attention today? No matter how you make that decision, these 3 things need to move the needle for you. This gives you permission to let some things wait — and that’s okay. Sometimes you may need to deviate, that flexibility is important as a caregiver, however, mapping your top 3 help give you direction.

2. Get It Out of Your Head
Use a medical info organizer (on-line/ on paper), shared and synched family calendar, a caregiving app. When you stop trying to remember every medication, appointment, and permission slip, you free up mental space for what matters most. These details use a lot of mental space and energy. Use the resources that are available to you. It takes far less energy to organize medical info on paper than it does to continuously allow that mental clutter to live in your head.

3. Say Yes When Someone Offers Help
When someone says, “Let me know if you need anything,” take them up on it: “Can you swing by mom’s house and help her put away groceries?” or “Could you pick up after basketball today?” Even 30 minutes creates breathing room.  My friend and I lean heavily on each other when it comes to carpooling for after school sports. I don’t think our kids could enjoy this activity without both of us tackling the driving. 

4. Protect Your Small Resets
Build tiny rituals into your day — a 10-minute walk, journaling before bed, sitting with tea before starting dinner, 5 box breaths while you’re waiting in the school pick-up line. Small moments done consistently are what keep you going.  It’s amazing how a few simple minutes to recenter yourself can make a big difference. I have a few non-negotiables:

• A few minutes of silence before I get out of bed.
• 5 box breaths before walking into work or picking up kids.
• 15 minutes with tea or coffee when we get home from work or school.
• Journal for 2-3 minutes then a few breathing exercises before bed.

Why This Reframe Matters

When you shift from chasing balance to creating space, something lifts.

You’re no longer measuring yourself against an impossible standard. You’re not failing because things aren’t “even.” You’re simply asking: Where can I make room for my wellbeing today?

And that question? It has answers.

The responsibilities don’t disappear. But you’re carrying them differently — with more grace, more ease, and more oxygen in your lungs.

Your Next Small Step

The next time you feel the weight of eldercare stress or parenting guilt, pause and ask yourself:

👉 “What’s one way I can create space for myself today?”

Maybe it’s five minutes of quiet. Maybe it’s asking for help. Maybe it’s having a family meeting to start doing things differently. 

Balance might not exist in this season. But space for yourself? That exists right now in the craziness of your day, claim it. And creating it — even in the smallest ways — is what makes it possible to keep showing up for your aging parents, your kids, your work, and yourself.

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✨ Ready to create more space in your day?
Grab my FREE Medical Information Organizer — a simple system to track your parent’s medications, appointments, and health questions so you don’t have to carry it all in your head.

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