From Turkey Trot to Turkey Sprint: Surviving Thanksgiving as a Sandwich Generation Caregiver

If you’re reading this while trying to remember who’s bringing dessert and making sure your parents have enough meds to last the busy week of Thanksgiving (especially if you’re traveling), you’re in good company.

This is the season when grocery lists multiply, group texts explode, and the emotional weight of family caregiving quietly triples—especially for those of us in the sandwich generation juggling kids, careers, and aging parents.

My Real-Life Thanksgiving as a Family Caregiver

This year, my Thanksgiving looks like a family flowchart that keeps redrawing itself.

My dad and his wife are driving all the way from Florida—a three-day trip that’s both admirable and exhausting for seniors in their seventies and eighties. After that long drive, asking them to travel another hour and a half to my husband’s family’s celebration feels like too much. They’re tired and a little worried about seasonal bugs that always seem to make their rounds during the holidays.

Meanwhile, my husband’s cousin is hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Their dad has been really struggling with his health, and this gathering is about surrounding him with family support when he needs it most. Everyone wants to show up for him—and I do too.

The result? I’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving twice.

I’ll drive up for dinner with my husband’s family, then turn around the next day to cook a second Thanksgiving meal for my dad, his wife, and my mom (who doesn’t want to leave the dogs in the kennel over the holiday). Our kids still haven’t decided if they are staying with their cousins, which is understandable, or if they are driving home with me the day after.

Two families. Two dogs (that apparently should not be kenneled during the holidays). Two sets of aging parents with different needs.
And one me—trying to keep it all together.

If you’re part of the sandwich generation, this probably sounds familiar.
This is what holiday caregiving often looks like: a swirl of love, logistics, and exhaustion.

Why Family Caregivers Feel the Holidays Twice

For most families, the holidays are busy.
For family caregivers, they’re busy × emotional × logistically complicated.

We don’t just make grocery lists—we manage stamina, medications, dietary restrictions, travel safety, and the emotional well-being of everyone in the room..

We’re also managing the emotional temperature of multiple generations.
When you care for aging parents while supporting your own family, the holidays become layered: joy and gratitude sit right beside guilt, grief, and worry. Stepping into both ends of the emotional spectrum while keeping your heart in a place of grace.

It’s the emotional equivalent of juggling pumpkin pies while walking a tightrope.
You love everyone involved, but their needs often pull in opposite directions. The holidays can become less about celebrating and more about managing the invisible logistics of caregiving. How do we keep the spirit of celebration going while caring for those we love most?

The Invisible Work of Holiday Caregiving

A friend recently said, “You must be so organized to handle all that.”
I laughed—because organized isn’t quite the right word.

Here’s what holiday caregiving really looks like behind the scenes:

• Mapping travel routes that minimize fatigue for elderly parents
• Coordinating doctor’s visits during the busiest time of year
• Packing extra medications to account for travel and access over the holidays
• Managing dietary restrictions and food allergies
• Bridging the gap between two very distinct generations so that everyone enjoys this holiday season

Caregivers live in this dual reality: we want to make memories, but we’re also managing risk. We’re quietly thinking, “Did I pack the blood pressure and glucose monitor? Does Mom’s doctor have an after-hours number and if not, who will we call just in case?”

That background hum of responsibility doesn’t pause for the holidays—it just gets dressed in fall colors.

The Shift That Changed My Perspective

For years, I treated this kind of week as something to power through.
I’d make new lists, push harder, and tell myself, “It’s just one crazy week—get through it.”

Having said that, Thanksgiving has always been a holiday we have genuinely enjoyed, even with all of the craziness!

But somewhere between my dad’s long drives and my husband’s cousin’s health scares, I realized something important:

It isn’t about doing more. It’s about giving yourself permission to do less—because the essentials are already handled.

When I have my family’s medical information all in one place, I don’t spend the entire holiday mentally keeping track of it.
I can enjoy the laughter, the smell of pie, and the company of family members we get to see once or twice a year.

Having a strong foundation to rely on doesn’t just save time—it gives peace of mind.
And in caregiving, peace of mind is the rarest and most valuable gift.

6 Practical Caregiving Tips for a Calmer Thanksgiving

If you’re feeling pulled in multiple directions this holiday season, here’s what helps me stay grounded and (mostly) sane:

1. Create a Medical Information Kit

Keep a one-page summary of medications, allergies, and emergency contacts for your parents. Slip it in your purse or car and screen shot it. Having it handy is one of the simplest holiday caregiving tips that can make a huge difference.

2. Refill Prescriptions Early (there are exceptions like controlled substances)

Pharmacies get slammed during the holidays. Refill medications early to avoid last-minute stress, especially if you’re traveling. Whether your loved ones are coming with you or staying home, knowing their meds won’t run out during the holiday season a like a stress release valve!

3. Double-Check Insurance Cards

Many policies reset in January. Confirm that your parents’ and your own cards are current, especially if anyone might need care away from home.  We had a new insurance but received a crazy bill because our doctor’s office filed the old plan (even though we had provided new info). These things happen so make sure insurance is up to date.

4. Plan Senior-Friendly Travel

Build in rest days for older adults. Three days on the road is a marathon; one extra night’s rest can prevent setbacks.  Over-packing the day with activities can leave them feeling drained so avoid the urge to over-schedule. If they decide to opt-out, give them the space to decline additional plans. 

5. Delegate Caregiving Tasks

Order the pie and place your grocery delivery orders early in the day because they fill up quickly right now.  Ask siblings and family members for help. Text instead of coordinate in person when you can. Delegation isn’t a weakness—it’s sustainable caregiving. 

6. Have a Health Plan for Gatherings

Keep masks and sanitizer handy. Remind your kids and teens to wash their hands often. Give your family space to skip an event if they are feeling unwell, especially if elderly loved ones are attending. If you’re traveling, research a local Urgent Care clinic before you go and verify coverage if you are out of state. Protecting vulnerable family members is an act of love.

When Gratitude Feels Heavy

Even with the best planning, this season can feel heavy.

You might be grateful your dad can still make the trip—and sad that it costs him so much energy.
You might want to show up for your husband’s cousin—and feel guilty leaving your parents behind.
You might just want one quiet Thanksgiving where you’re not the logistics manager.

Those mixed emotions? That’s the ultimate living in the messy middle and giving yourself grace to do so.

If your gratitude feels a little weary this year, you’re not alone.
You’re doing a lot of unseen work—and it’s okay if your version of thankfulness looks like sitting in the car for ten extra minutes of quiet.

Choosing Meaning Over Perfection

A few years ago, I stopped chasing the Pinterest-perfect Thanksgiving.
Now, I choose meaning and presence over perfection.

If paper plates mean I can sit with my parents longer, I use them.
If skipping a second event means I get to breathe, I do it.
If saying “no” keeps the peace, I say it kindly and without guilt.

Caregiving during the holidays is less about orchestrating and more about allowing—allowing limits, mess, and love to coexist.

No one remembers the perfect turkey.
They remember whether they felt cared for, safe, and included.

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The Caregiver’s Holiday Sanity Checklist

Health & Safety

• Refill prescriptions early
• Update medications and doctor lists
• Confirm travel routes and rest stops
• Pack a small first-aid and comfort kit

Home & Hosting

• Label leftovers—food safety matters for seniors
• Make a “who brings what” list for meals
• Keep one quiet room for rest and recharge

Self-Care

• Schedule short breaks (even 10 minutes counts)
• Step outside daily for fresh air
• Notice resentment—it’s your cue to pause and reset

Here’s the thing:I can’t make everyone happy. I can’t prevent every event hiccup, holiday cold, or menu mix-up.  But I can stay present with the people who matter.

This season isn’t about proving how much I can carry. You’re living the layered, beautiful, messy reality of caregiving.

A 10-Minute Thanksgiving Challenge

Before the rush hits, take 10 quiet minutes to do this:

1. Write “Peace of Mind List” at the top of a page.
2. List your top 3 holiday stressors.
3. Write one small action for each that would make it easier or release it all together!

You don’t have to fix everything—just take small intentional steps toward calm.
Even one micro-step counts as progress.

 For me, it’s been the pressure of making everything from scratch. Now, I cater part of the menu, have family bring items they love to eat, and make a few cherished dishes from scratch. Even if I’m not hosting this year, I’ll still bring something pre-made and something home-made.

Where I’m Putting My Attention

By the time Thanksgiving week ends, I’ll have driven more miles than I would have liked and washed more dishes than I planned. But as I sit at that second table with my dad, his wife, and my mom, I’ll remember—it’s not about doing it all perfectly.  And yes, I’m planning on catering most of that second meal!

It’s about being grateful for the chance to show up for the people I love most. The extra driving and juggling aren’t disruptions; they’re quiet acts of love and choices I’m making from the heart, not out of guilt.

This year, I’m choosing peace over perfection—making decisions that bring calm instead of chaos.

Because when we focus on what truly matters—connection, laughter, presence—the imperfections can often become the funny stories you reminisce about next year.

 And that’s the real magic of caregiving during the holidays: learning to find gratitude in the middle of the mess and choosing peace even when the to-do list says otherwise.

📘 Free Resource: Medical Info Organizer for Caregivers

If this season already feels like a juggling act, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to manage it all from memory.

I’ve created a free Medical Info Organizer to help caregivers keep track of medications, providers, and insurance info all in one place.

👉 Download it here:

https://caregiverscoffee.myflodesk.com/opr49idrl3

Give yourself the gift of breathing room before the holidays begin.Because the best way to care for your family is to make sure you’re not running on empty yourself.